Attitude Clinic
Your Attitude Questions Answered

Don't Be Positive
Question: I want to use this clinic to answer a question that isn't asked. More often than not optimism reigns as the gold standard of attitudes; everyone is clamoring for that positive mental outlook. But what if it's not the right choice? Could we all be clamoring for the wrong thing?

Answer: Yes. Hard as it may be to believe, blind optimism is rarely the best option.

Case in point: A 39-year-old designer from Orlando was ousted from a national designing competition. A requirement--working well with others--wasn't exactly his strong point. After three heated arguments with fellow competitors, he was cut. The judges told him his management style would ruin any chance of success.

Did the news devastate him? Not at all. The judges were obviously wrong; he was meant to succeed and would find a way to make his dream come true.

An optimistic outlook, many would say. I think it's an attitude begging for disaster. Believing that you'll succeed the second time around is ridiculous if you don't recognize and change what kept you from succeeding in the first place.

It was clear that the designer didn't listen to their criticisms. And it was also clear that he would head into the next project--and every project--with the same abrasive style. His optimistic outlook blinded him to the truth he needed to hear.

When you fail, don't brush yourself off and say you'll get ‘em next time. Learn what went wrong and fix it. Your confidence, then, will have a stable home.