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Child Motivation QuickTips
The Secret to Motivating Your Children
How do you motivate children without pressuring them into doing something or simply
forcing the issue? This is among the most common and troubling questions a parent can
ask. Fortunately, there is a simple solution. By putting just a handful of steps to
use you can quickly ignite your child's internal drive without ever relying on these
ineffective methods.
WHAT DO THEY WANT?
It might seem like an obvious thing to ask, but in truth many parents decide to enter
their children into countless groups, sports, and activities without first sitting down
to discuss the matter with them. This creates a feeling of helplessness and a lack of
control for the child, and begins the process of killing their motivation.
To avoid this initial obstacle, spend time talking with your children about what they'd
like to get involved with. Ask them about their interests and desires, about the things
that get them excited. You'll not only put the first piece of the motivation puzzle in
place but also get to know more about each of your children, a great win-win situation.
WHY DO THEY WANT IT?
Not every situation in which motivation is needed will revolve around sports or other
recreational activities. It's because of this fact that you'll need to put the second
step to use with your kids whenever a strong internal drive is needed.
Motivation stems from reasons. When you do anything, you do it for a reason. The
strength and duration of our motivation depends entirely on the quality of those
reasons. If you threaten someone, their reason for acting is to avoid pain and
punishment, and while this may work in the short term, is certainly can't last.
The secret, then, is to guide your children through the process of uncovering better
reasons for wanting to do the things they have to do. Instead of forcing them to act
through fear, talk with them about why they would want to take the actions that are
necessary for success. Really listen to their answers and serve as a mentor whose aim
is to help them uncover the incentives they might not have considered.
WHY DON'T THEY WANT IT
Just as important as figuring out why they would want to do something is to uncover
the obstacles that stand in their way. Whatever it is, be is school work, sports, music,
or anything in between, there will be certain factors that stand in the way of the
goal and work to weaken their motivation.
Most parents either ignore these factors or assume the obstacles holding them back are
the same things they dealt with while young. Neither approach is effective. Instead, you
must spend time talking with your children about the things they personally perceive to
be problems or issues that keep them from getting motivated. Only when you discover what's
going on in their heads can you put solutions in place that will actually work.
Authentic, long-lasting motivation stems from within. You simply can't force it. Keep
this in mind the next time you need your children to accomplish a task or goal and
you'll avoid the struggle that often accompanies the common methods of child motivation.
by Jason M. Gracia - Motivation123™
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