Unhappy? Here's a Way Out
When my friend's car battery died, she didn't treat it as something that
couldn't be fixed. She found someone to jump-start the car--she solved the
problem.
In many cases, the same can be done with unhappiness. Too many
people, when feeling down or upset, accept it as a rough storm that they
just have to live through; they wait for it to pass on its own. But like
any other problem, you can do something to solve it.
When: First, examine your mood. When did you start feeling this way? This
morning? Later afternoon? Or is it a carry over from last night?
What: When you've got the time straight, think about the cause. What could
have triggered it? Was it the tiff with your best friend? The rude
customer service rep who wouldn't listen? News that your family wasn't
visiting after all?
Why: Then I want you to think about why it's getting to you. Why,
specifically, is the problem bringing you down? Fighting with your friend
is only the outside of the house; taking a close look reveals many
different rooms, many different reasons to feel bad about what happened.
Did they betray your trust? Criticize? Annoy?
How: Finally, when you've got the source, shift your thoughts to the
solution. I know it's hard to achieve this perspective when you're the one
feeling bad. The last thing you feel like doing is digging into the
problem, which is why I want you to imagine that you're not the one who is
upset--your friend is. And being the good friend that you are, what would
you say? What solutions would you offer?
As soon as you think of an answer, drop the act and take your own advice.
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