It's Not What You Think
A young friend of mine, we'll call her June, nearly dropped out of high school
three years ago. During her senior year, she skipped as many classes as she
attended. Her GPA plummeted. She was ready to give up.
Failure was at the core of this meltdown. June struggled in math and science,
and saw each failed test as a personal quality: she was a failure.
With this myth drilled into her brain, she avoided everything about school.
Studying reminded her that she was a failure. Homework reminded her that she
was slow. Simply driving into the school's parking lot triggered anxiety.
Then something changed. It wasn't the only cause of the turnaround, but June
began to realize that a wrong answer wasn't a wrong person. It was only that--a
wrong answer. A misplaced number, a wrong circle darkened.
Had she studied that particular topic more, she would have known the right
answer. Failure wasn't a permanent part of her character. She could change.
This shift in thinking changed everything. June began to study again. She
bounced back from bad tests, even taking steps to figure out what went wrong.
She didn't feel like a failure anymore.
June is now two years away from earning her bachelor's degree to become a
teacher. And I'm convinced it never would have happened if she hadn't realized
that a failed test isn't a failed person. The same is true for you.
When you do poorly on an assignment, a project, or an exam, don't personalize
the failure. It's something you did, not something you are. By studying and
asking questions you can grasp the troublesome topics, pass the difficult
tests, and bounce back after any setback.
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